Our report about Ebonics and the C++ dialect brought a deluge of mail. Most of it was from native C++ speakers. Some urged us to interpret their thoughts for the general public; others wanted their words compiled and stored for later use. A few letters came from people who were outraged at the reference to Ebonics. Nearly all the 10 angry correspondents used the word
professional
in describing themselves. Anticipating them, Mary Benton, a self-de
scribed "country programmer from Missouri" wrote: "I'll bet you get angry letters because you mentioned Ebonics. To me, the very word
Ebonics
is another example of what happens when stupid academic jargon escapes into the public. Academics, politicians, and reporters get to show us how pompous they can be. Let's not forget
paradigm
,
critical thinking
,
new math
,
excellence
, and, my all-time favorite,
quality
. I just love to hear self-inflated people spout these words." Dale Roberts sent in this report about lingo in Silicon Valley: "Must I use standard English at Safeway, where the clerks are now fluent in high-bandwidth frame-relay terminologies? The most unlikely place you'll encounter standard English might be in any bar along San Francisco's Market Street after 4:00 p.m. weekdays, when headhunters line up with cell phones and mumble incoherently about highly technical topics, with dubious results."
Letter End Zone
Las
t June, we mentioned this snippet of an Associated Press news item: "An editorial in the Iraqi government newspaper
Al-Jumhuriya
says that the Internet...is 'the end of civilizations, cultures, interests, and ethics.' " What else, we asked, is the Internet the end of? Some responses we received were philosophical: "It is the end of that age that was ruled by isolation and dogmatic doctrines, and the beginning of a new age that will be ruled by communication, reason, and the common good," predicted P. DeMoss. Many other readers' responses about what the Internet has doomed were more pragmatic: "Poor stock performance for modem companies," wrote D. Johnson. "Stamps," replied R. Browning. And, according to D. Fine, the Internet signals the end of the "lost in the mail" excuse and the dawn of the "lost in the server" excuse. G. S. Haber's response was both philosophical and pragmatic: "Sleep, breakfast, quality time with my peacock Elwood." V. S. Smith's was both philosophical and poetic: "The Internet
is also the end of boring rainy-day lunch hours; of quickly looking something up in an encyclopedia; of needing friends, a life, any form of social contact; of watching mindless TV late into the night...." Many readers' predictions were bibliocentric. Quite a few trumpeted the Internet as "the end of research in libraries." Readers differed in their opinions on the Internet's effect on cognitive science. The cryptically named EStew62170 predicted "The end of ignorance -- the beginning of understanding." But S. Vance took the opposite view: "Intelligence -- have you read some of the 'conversations' on chat lines?" We end this discussion with the words of Michael John, in whose estimation the Internet is "...the end of civilizations who claim the Internet is the end of civilizations."
Marc Abrahams is the editor of the Annals of Improbable Research. You can contact him by sending e-mail to
marca@improb.com
.
Advances and Retreats in Computing
