Another New Office

By Lincoln Spector

November 3, 2003

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I had just settled down to watch the new, Special Edition DVD of Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, complete with a very informative director's commentary ("I'm really sorry I made this picture. Please forgive me"). I was only as far as the fourth apology when the doorbell rang.

I should know better. It was, of course, my neighbor Norman, President, CTO, and (as far as I know) sole customer of the company formerly known as SoftPop Software, recently renamed SoftPopDotCom.com.

"Actually," he corrected me, "it's now SoftPopDotCom International, Ltd. We felt we had to get the Internet out of the name."

"That's great, Norman," I said. "Now can you please go away?"

But instead of leaving, he proudly held up a CD. "It's finished, it's fantastic, and it's going to revolutionize the computer industry."

"Your family's photo album?"

"Better. It's version 2005 of my industry-standard productivity suite, SoftPopDotCom Office Politics."

"2005?"

"We're way ahead of the competition. This isn't just the same old collection of terrific apps, although it has them all: our spreadsheet, Exceed, as well as PowerLunch, Accessible, Worse, and, of course, our e-mail/scheduling program, Lookout."

"That's all very fine, Norman, but no one cares about office suite upgrades, anymore. All of the important features were there by 1997."

He smiled and shook his head. "Office Politics 97 was a great product for its day. It had spelling and grammar checkers, graphics capabilities, tables, even a macro language based on Italian, but we had to move on. Earlier versions of Office Politics failed in some important ways. They didn't force users to activate their copies, and they didn't provide companies with an incentive to buy additional SoftPopDotCom products.

"But enough talk," he went on, changing the subject with a wave of the CD. "Let's look at all the cool, new stuff. Where's your computer?"

I had to think fast. "It's, um, in the shop. Repairs. An elephant fell on it."

"Gee, that's tough. Luckily I've got this notebook with me."

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