The Hack in the Cap Plays Mac

By Lincoln Spector

April 4, 2005

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And the Things I Can Carry on Mulberry Street

When I leave home to walk to school,
Dad always says to me,
"Make sure your Palm is in your hand
and clean the LCD."

But a Pilot, you see,
Doesn't cut it for me.

I need my own notebook, one fast as a fox,
With one gig of RAM and another of OX.
A notebook with WiFi, now that would be sweet!
I could surf on the Web and walk Mulberry Street.

But this notebook of mine, it must have DVD,
So I can watch movies that Dad buys for me,
With very loud speakers that roar like a rocket,
But small, so that six of them fit in my pocket.
When my walk's in surround sound, it will be quite a treat,
For all the good listeners on Mulberry Street.

I'll need more than a notebook and Palm, if you please.
I must have a small gadget that plays .MP3s.
And not some cheap knockoff that folks will find odd,
But one built by Apple named after a pod,
With a hundred-gig hard drive—now that would be regal!
To hold all I took before Napster was legal.
My legs, they would move to a bumpity beat,
As I walked with my earbuds on Mulberry Street.

A camera so small it would fit in my nose,
Shoots nine megapixels now, more as it grows.
With a zoom lens so strong, if I chose, then I could
Take photos of flies at the top of Mount Hood.
A portable printer? Well, really, why not?
I could print out my photos right there on the spot.
A laptop! A printer! As I walk to school,
I must have each one—and to haul them, a mule.
All this wonderful gear—that would really be sweet!
But I just have this Palm here on Mulberry Street.

Norton Hears No Who

On the fifteenth of May, in an office so wide,
In the heat of the day, air-conditioned inside,
He was smug, for his market share grew every year,
When Norton the elephant chose not to hear.

He could hear lots of things, be they fishes or quails,
Or the shockingest curses of impolite snails.<>

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